Through a special arrangement, presented here for discussion is a summary of a current article from Retail Contrarian, the blog of the Dynamic Experiences Group.
Last week, I received an anonymous e-mail from a store staff. They said that their owner/manager, a regular reader of my newsletters, is in their own words, "The boss from hell."
They shared some of their reasons for bestowing the title and asked me to try to help them.
Here are five factors that can lead you to become the retail boss from hell, with a comment from an employee on each one, as well as my insight.
1. Always focus on what’s wrong. "I could do 99 things right and one thing wrong, and he/she will go straight to what I did wrong."
2. Never pay a compliment. "I could count on one hand the number of times I’ve been complimented in the last year. Even those compliments are followed up with what I did wrong."
DF comment: These two go hand in hand. I think most owners and managers are always trying to improve their staff and store, but if you’re not careful you can come across as focusing only on the negative. People need to hear what they’re doing well, and receive feedback on what they can do better. The leader’s goal should be to deliver both so well the staff doesn’t notice the difference between the two.
3. Get mad at your staff, but don’t tell them what’s wrong. "Honestly, my boss sulks and pouts more than my child does."
DF comment: Sometimes owners and managers are under a lot of stress and can withdraw a little bit. The staff often assumes the person is mad at them. Our job is to lead and inspire people through thick and thin. You have to set aside the issues.
4. Talk about employees to others. "I don’t know which is worse — when the boss talks to me about other employees or wondering what he/she is saying about me to others."
DF comment: Gossip can kill a team. If you need to talk about others, talk to your spouse or your pet.
5. Won’t delegate anything, but then complains about having to do everything. "We’d be happy to help. He/she just won’t let us."
DF comment: We must delegate. Not only does it engage our staff and give them ownership in the business, it frees us up to spend time developing our people and growing the business. But if you’re not going to delegate, don’t complain how tired you are or that you can’t get a day off. Delegation is a choice.
Any manager can fall into any one of these traps from time to time. But when they become a habit, or we’re engaging in several of them at once, we’re having a negative impact the staff and, ultimately, store results. You also get labeled "The boss from hell."
BrainTrust
Discussion Questions
What would be your advice for store managers and owners to avoid becoming overbearing bosses? What are some tips for younger managers to skirt the bad habits that often develop when first supervising others?
Poll
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Good pointers, Doug! It’s easy for work to become a grind after awhile and we’re often not aware of the traps we’re falling into until they are pointed out. For younger management, the first thing I’d say is “Don’t Take it Personally!”
It’s business and over a long career you are going to have all types of bosses and people working for you. The ‘trick’ is to try to get along with almost all of them, and get away from those that are really overbearing. And, don’t become one of those managers from hell yourself!
Memo to all the “bosses;” People want to be treated the way you want others to treat you. Employees and associates need to feel encouraged and secure about the company and their jobs. They can’t constantly live in a quagmire of abuse, fear, and disrespect. Employees do not do good work when they are constantly nervous, and when there is constant tension and too much emotional instability in the environment day to day. Employees need to feel safe, appreciated, respected, and genuinely motivated. The later happens simply by treating them respectfully, with inclusion, and by making them feel like true partners and associates.
If I may wear my psychologist hat…
Often when we behave in ways described in this article we’re trying to attribute the cause of our own unhappiness onto others. We think the world is against us while the truth is we’re against it.
The “boss from hell” is typically an unhappy person. Why? Because he/she is acting in a way or is in a situation that is contrary to the ‘calling’ or higher purpose of their life. Our happiness is in direct proportion to how close we function to our highest possibilities. So when we know – consciously or sub-consciously – that we are not doing what we know we could/want to do with our lives we push against the situation we’re in making everybody else miserable as well. In a strange way having a whole bunch of upset people around us makes our own ‘upset-ness’ seem like it fits right in. “Misery loves company” is actually a truism.
Once we make everyone else miserable the next act is often depression. This is where our unhappiness and anger changes from being directed to others to being directed at ourselves. Much of depression is anger turned inwards. Why would we do that? Same reason as above…we’re not following our destiny. We’re not acting on our possibilities. We’re being held back – by ourselves.
In both scenarios (and let’s be honest, we’ve all been there in one way or another) the thing to think about is “What decision do I need to make that I’m not making?” Sometimes making those decisions scares the you know what out of you…but the freedom on the other side is wonderful.
PS1: It’s not a matter of merely trying to ‘behave’ differently like “try to give a compliment every day.” If such behaviors don’t flow effortlessly from your heart and soul it’s just a gimmick and we’ll all know it. We’re talking about finding joy, purpose and meaning on a much deeper level than that.
PS2: Do I need to add something here like ‘this is simply commentary and not meant to diagnose or advise any ‘boss from hell’? Please see a professional coach, mentor, therapist or pastor.
I once saw a tee-shirt with the following on the front: The beatings won’t stop until your morale gets better.
This made me think of some of the managers I’ve worked with and coach. Bottom line is you can’t take your people in the back office, verbally beat them up and then tell them to be nice to the customer. It’s an inconsistent message. You can’t expect the employee to treat the customer much better than he/she is treated internally.
Employees look to their managers and leadership to set the example. And, they should.
I love to share what I’ve called “The Employee Golden Rule,” which is to treat the employees the way you want the customer treated—maybe even better! And the result: What’s happening on the inside of an organization is being felt on the outside by the customer.
To answer the questions asked: What would be my advice for store managers and owners to avoid becoming an overbearing boss? First, ASK. Ask the staff what they want or need to succeed. Have them feed to you what you can provide to allow them to succeed. Second, don’t dictate HOW, only establish with them WHAT has to occur. Third, have them review their efforts and provide evaluation on their own contributions.
For younger (I think you mean “new” and not necessarily young) managers, the job of management is different than the job of being “super-technician” or “expert tactician.” The role is to help others to succeed—not to assume responsibility for doing the work of everyone reporting to you.
To that list I would add:
6) Focus entirely on meeting corporate objectives, not shopper success. Nothing sends a more disheartening message than disrespecting your key stakeholders.
What’s important is for managers to always be focused on the customer, period. Therefore, if an associate is not on board with that, it’s very okay for anyone on the team to be mad at them. Including the manager. So, as long as the entire staff knows that the manager is laser-focused on the customer, there shouldn’t be an issue when someone is reprimanded for NOT being focused on the customer. It’s that simple.
I really think that ‘style’ or ‘technique’ in the case of store managers is a lot less important than understanding the big goal: the customer. Once the team is successful because of customer focus, all will realize the benefits and generally, the benefits of a happy manager as well.
Managers should always keep in mind that they would be nowhere without their team.
Gee, where to begin?
The people who understand the customer best are the front-line staff who interact with them every day. A good boss will ask each one daily how well things seem to be going. A failure to ask, and a focus on “telling,” is a key failure, according to folks on the Store Operations Council.
It is really important to remember to show appreciation for the work done by your staff. While they may simply be doing what you expect them to do, the failure to notice when they do something positive can really lead to morale issues. And take time to listen to and really acknowledge staff, rather than just a superficial effort. They will notice and tell others about it. If you really want to know where you stand, do an employee survey, listen to the responses, and take action.
When reading this piece, my mind went directly to an ancient text titled “The One Minute Manager” by Ken Blanchard, and then to “In Search of Excellence” by Tom Peters. Read those two books and you have all the fundamentals.
The old maxims of “catching people doing things right” and “Management by Wandering Around,” are some of the nuggets.
Hire better. The smartest people I know are those who surround themselves with people who are more intelligent and ambitious than they are. If you have highly motivated intelligent people working for you you are no longer the boss but the director/conductor. As for young managers, the same advice holds—get people to manage who are smarter and more motivated than you are.
I agree with Ed; of course the unfortunate thing is, the dumber the owner, the less likely he/she is to take the advice …even though its’s even more necessary.
No secrets! Keep emails as open and include as many people as possible “in the loop.” This increases corporate clarity, involves more employees, and forces delegation. It prevents “gossip” as described in the article, and if done in a positive manner, avoids the negative syndrome that is often an issue when dragging an organization through change.
We all have bad boss stories and the reality is it is easy to become a bad boss. Bosses are in a position of authority over others and it is all too easy to stop viewing your employees and associates as people, but as a means to an end. As bosses we need to put our humanity first and treat people as people of equal intrinsic value to ourselves, not as minions or less-important beings.
If there are “bosses from hell” it is the organization’s fault. The easy availability of basic leadership skills trainig makes the tolerating of poor leaders inexcusable. It all starts with the organization’s culture and beliefs. If you are unlucky enough to work for a retailer who doesn’t understand and provide fundamental leadership training and expectations, quit and more to a retailer that does.
If you are that bad boss—you won’t be the boss for long. Tolerating this behavior is a thing of the past.